Thanksgiving 2015 This Thanksgiving morning I am not feeling the best. I am not my strongest. I feel the pain of old injuries and the aches of getting older. My back hurts and I’m feeling defeated. This morning it’s hard … Continue reading
I am totally guilty of not bathing my baby. And sometimes he gets a little ripe. Lucky, I have found help.
Okay, so to understand why I have resisted bathing Liam on a daily basis we have to regress a bit. When I brought my baby Aiden home over nine years ago I was totally committed to doing EVERYTHING exactly like I thought it should be done. He was bathed daily, and even with all the washing and moisturizing he flaked! His skin literally peeled off. The top of his cute little head was a mess and his baby acne was relentless. I considered resorting to Proactiv (of course I never did use something so harsh on his baby skin, but I was temped)! We were purchasing and using so much of it, I should have bought stock in Aquafor.
Why was he so peely? Why was his delicious skin so icky?! The same thing happened with Colin. About a month into Colin being home I quit bathing him. A little out of necessity and a little out of laziness (I admit). Of course I cleaned out his neck rolls and wiped behind his ears and in his little folds and kept his diaper area clean, but he was only submerged about once a month. His skin became clear and naturally moisturized. It was a miracle! Note to self, don’t bathe the baby so much.
Liam has enjoyed a few baths, but Aiden is constantly telling me that the baby smells like cheese. I told him cheese is made from milk and the milk that sets on Liam’s breath and along the collar of his onesies sure might smell like cheese from time to time. He can get a little ripe and I actually (and a bit shamefully) don’t mind at all. I love the smell of his stinky little toes and I can often find bits of lint clenched in his tiny hands!
Like Colin, I keep Liam clean by sponge bathing him, wiping his baby folds etc… While on a recent visit to Galleria I was chatting with the ladies at Blue Mercury who were cooing over Liam and asking all kinds of questions. “His skin is so nice,” they were all saying. I told them that I rarely bathe him, I just wipe him down. One of them suggested a newer product (not one I recall from Aiden’s baby days) by Mustela. It is the PhysiObebe No-Rinse Cleansing Fluid. Wheeee, what a great product!
Okay, first of all it smells wonderful. It is light and fresh and leaves baby smelling completely clean. Simply pump some of the liquid onto a washcloth (I have used my Gerber diaper/burp-cloths for this, too – and BTW using Gerber diapers as burp-cloths will be a post for another day) and wipe away the stale milk, linty hands, stinky toes and ishy diaper area. Voila, clean baby! And you keep baby’s skin from getting overly dry by avoiding the constant baby washing.
You can’t go wrong with Mustela products for baby. They are free of chemicals and are tested to be hypoallergenic. The Mustela gift set includes a bottle of PhysiObebe and a few of their other most popular baby products – if you don’t have a newborn baby of your own right now this would make a great gift for other babies in your life!
My other must-have find for bath-time, post Aiden and Colin, has been the Puj baby bathtub. Okay, this thing is great! It fits into most sinks and allows you to have both hands free as baby nestles neatly into the seat which is formed when the Puj is folded. It rinses clean and I simply hang it in my shower too dry and return it to Liam’s closet when not in use. It unfolds for easy storage against a wall or under a crib. Wish I would have thought of this! The bath slings and tubs I had for the older boys lasted a very short while before they mildewed or became just plain gross and were tossed.
So, now you know the secret to my Liam’s pretty skin – he doesn’t bathe regularly (having Brian’s genes doesn’t hurt, either)! So if you want to keep baby’s skin looking like new, stay out of the water and consider trying out Mutela’s PhysiObebe. And when you do need to bathe baby, really, the Puj is awesome!
All in all I hope the advice helps you avoid hearing from a random stranger that your baby smells like cheese!
Tonight I will light a candle at 7pm.
October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness month. Declared by the late, great Ronald Reagan, this month is meant to bring visibility to the loss so many experience, yet few discuss. There is no term for a parent after the loss of a pregnancy or of an infant, but no matter the words we put to it the feeling is ultimately heartbreak.
Brian and I were blessed unexpectedly with both Aiden and Colin. Getting pregnant with both boys seemed “easy” and the pregnancies were status quo. Aside from a few funny test results with Aiden, which all turned out normal, everything progressed well and ended in normal natural births.
2013 rolled around and having made it through midnight feedings, sleep training, potty training, toddler beds, big boy beds, PreK and more, we decided to actively “try” for a third child. I didn’t feel complete, and while finances are always a concern when looking to expand a family, Brian ultimately wanted more children, too. I think it worried him that the boys would only have each other if, God forbid, anything ever happened to he and I.
So we tried, thinking things would work out easily, like in the past. No such luck.
I was sad, and my wallet was a bit lighter after all the pregnancy tests I wasted that first month. The next month, more of the same. I felt empty and broken. I began to understand the feelings of my friends and acquaintances who had experienced infertility. It felt desperate and horrible.
During this time I recalled a conversation I’d had with my mom when I’d been pregnant with Aiden and a couple of friends didn’t attend my shower because of their own fertility struggles. I was upset they were not there, and felt like they were unsupportive of my pregnancy. My mom gently set me straight, recalling her own feelings when experiencing infertility prior to my adoption. She told me that sometimes it’s just impossible to get past the loss, month after month, and be happy for others who easily get pregnant and have beautiful healthy babies. Eight years later in the summer of last year I fully understood this feeling, and was ashamed for having been frustrated with my friends.
I started to track my cycle using ovulation predictors. Month three passed but in month four it worked! That positive test made me cry out loud with joy and the smile on Brian’s face had teeth!! (those of you who know him know he almost never smiles with teeth!) I was so excited. We had never experienced problems after a positive test, so when my mom called to give me the dates of a coming summer family vacation to Rehoboth Beach, DE I told her not to waste her money on the second week because we would not be making the trip. I was pregnant and due that week!
A couple of weeks passed and I contemplated telling friends, other family, work… In fact I was at work when I noticed the pink tinge on the toilet paper. That night it had changed from barely noticeable to obvious bleeding. I sat on the stairs and cried. Brian told me not to worry, but really, I am a professional worry-wart, so that fell on deaf ears.
The doctor told me not to worry and to come in for some tests. I couldn’t see my regular doctor and the one I saw instead was reasonably kind, but gave it to me a little too straight, “You are miscarrying. It will pass over the next few days. You are older, your eggs are older, it will take someone your age an average of 6-8 cycles to arrive at a viable pregnancy. If you miscarry again, we’ll discuss the options. Wait a cycle and try again.” They took my blood to confirm my HCg levels were declining and sent me and my old eggs home.
I gathered everything I had inside of me during that week and happily celebrated other friends coming births, cheerfully returned to work and didn’t let on to my big boys. At night I cried. I had hoped to be months into a healthy pregnancy by this time and instead I was back at square one.
With the holidays coming and having to wait at least one cycle I put away the ovulation predictors and loped forward. The weeks passed and my cycle didn’t return. I fearfully took a test. Positive. I waited a day. Positive. I called the doctor and went in for two blood draws to measure my levels. Rising. They did an ultrasound. The bean was there. I held my breath for two more weeks. Another ultrasound. There was a heartbeat. I cried. So did Brian. I felt the pressure lift and I took my first easy breath in weeks.
Those who have experienced miscarriage and loss call a child after loss a Rainbow. Liam is my beautiful blond rainbow. He held on through all my fears and worries – nine months worth, from bean to gummy bear to fully formed delicious baby boy. He knew how much I needed him, he knows the job of a rainbow is to help us remember the beauty in pregnancy and infancy while guiding our minds to lessen the heartbreak in loss.
During this month of Pregnancy Loss Awareness those who have experienced a loss are asked to light a candle at 7pm on 10.15 and let it burn for one hour in a united effort to produce a continued wave of light across the world for one day, honoring the babies who are forever in the hearts of those who loved them.
I write to erase the shame and sadness of loss in miscarriage. I will light the candle to honor my heavenly baby and all the little ones lost by friends, family and acquaintances. I invite you to do the same if you, too, have lost a pregnancy or an infant, or if you care for someone who has.
For more information on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day visit: http://www.october15th.com/